Schedule 1A

Doing something different this time. Just because I can. "Just because" is a good reason to me. In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. Because He could. Because it seemed good to Him. And nobody questioned Him. I mean, who can argue with the Almighty? I'm not almighty, but, given that I'm living up to His Word, I have the authority to use that same authority. Nice. And what am I doing, just because?


A few days ago, I was cleaning the terribly messy recreation room and I came across a book by the name of The Natural Way to Draw by some dude named Kimon Nicolaides. "Well, crap," I thought to myself, "Why not?" Says the dude died in 1938, born in 1891. Given my superior math skills, I deduced that the dude lived a massively short life of forty-seven years (leave or take, depending on the month). Ouch. The book was copyrighted 1941 by some lady named Anne Nicolaides. I'm guessing wife.

When I was a kid, dad and mom renovated a 1941 Plymouth. Nice car. Quite comfy. Green. Everyone liked it. Different story.

Anyways, this book, so far, is written pretty well. Like the dude's actually talking in this firm but edifying voice. Even has these schedule things. I like schedules. Doesn't mean I apply myself to them very well, but I like them nonetheless. So...this here--something different--is going to be my adventure into this book, in the hopes of improving my drawing skills that are twenty-five years over due. Ladies and gentlemen...

And so the book starts with lessons in "contour". It gives this nice little informative lesson about the arbitrary difference between contour and outline, and, given the explanation, I understood it. Really seems to me to be a lesson in eye-hand coordination, seeing that I'm not allowed to look at my paper and draw at the same time. These pictures will show how little I've developed this skill.

You are now entering...the Kindergarten Zone. Worst. Guitar. Neck. Ever. Hahahaha. Said the subject matter didn't matter. Just draw. So, I picked the first thing my eyes laid...eyes...on... That didn't really make sense. Anyway, it was supposed to be a guitar, but I ran out of paper. I started at the top right and... well... hehe...

So I thought I'd move onto something easier, you know, with less changes in direction--like my mortar and pestle.

My...computer monitor. I realized that I should probably put the time, too. Which is why it's on this one and not the ones before it. This way you can find out how much I'm rushing through these things.

A telephone. With a *cord*. You know it must be an old one. Actually...I think I got it back in 2002. For whatever reason, if I have it plugged into this wonderful dial-up modem at the same time that I'm logged onto the Internet, my connection gets bogged down like...well...I've never really liked similies. So, I keep it unplugged most of the time. I don't like talking on the phone, anyway.

I had to get something organic for this last one. Guess what it is. Come on, guesswhatitis! A foot! Spontaneously quoting one of my all time favorite movies, "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles": "Together we will punish these...creatures. These...turtles." Make the connection? That was Shredder talking; he's the leader of the Foot. Hahahahaha. Dude...that was a good movie. I think I'm going to watch it again, later.

The book assured me, in full uppercase, THE SOONER YOU MAKE YOUR FIRST FIVE THOUSAND MISTAKES, THE SOONER YOU WILL BE ABLE TO CORRECT THEM. Personally, I'm glad I made half of them, already.


  1. Monitor looks the best. Phone takes the first place for the WORST contour, guitar neck a close second.

    And even though your foot looks sort of weird, I still kind of like it, in a way. :D

  2. Hahahahaha. They were ALL bad! :D Hahaha. I still give the guitar the worst vote of the five, though. It wasn't even contour--the outline sucked so bad I couldn't even add frets or anything. :d